Memory 

02/16/2013

As most of you know, Monday was court for temporary orders for my daughter and much to my surprise, it went really well. Although my anxiety was at an all time high because this was the first time in 10 months that I had seen my daughter’s  father, I stood my ground and was determined that I would not falter, no matter what may happen. I never thought I’d get over him, I never thought that I would look at him without missing who he used to be and when I saw him Monday with his new girlfriend, it made me realize that the person that I fell in love with wasn’t real, it was all fake, HE was fake and he would never change. The first thing my attorney said to me upon seeing him was that she thought he was still on drugs and even though it broke my heart because he wasn’t willing to change for his own flesh and blood, it actually relieved me in a sense that I’d never fall in love with him again.

Of course seeing him after such a long time had my heart pounding, especially  due to the fact I thought I might have to take the stand and tell my story, all over again and who wants to do that? Who wants to relive the pain of what they’ve been through? Nobody. Much to my surprise though, I didn’t have to. We went into the judge’s office, my husband told the judge that he hadn’t seen his daughter in 8 months because he had been in jail, the judge asked why he was in jail and he told him for family violence and the judge pointed to me and asked if it was against me, he said yes and then the judge asked him why he thought that he shouldn’t give me sole custody and give him supervised visitation. The response after that still makes me shake my head because he actually tried to tell the judge that he believed that there were circumstances in which abuse was okay and the judge just looked at him and said, “No, there is NO excuse for laying your hand on a woman.”

It was funny because he continued to try to argue with him about it and then mentioned the tools that were in the car that got repossessed. Now I don’t know about you guys but if you’re put in a situation where you might possibly lose rights to your kid, tools should be the last thing on your mind but it wasn’t his. He asked the judge what he was supposed to do about his tools and the judge just told him that it wasn’t his problem. He gave me sole custody, gave my husband supervised visitation and now he has to pay child support. I think what bothers me the most is that despite everything that he has been through, he’s still not willing to change, he’s still not willing to put his children before himself and that breaks my heart for my daughter. 

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